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The I-love-you-forever love.

The Love-Hate kind of love.

The I-hate-you-the-most love.

*edit some parts here*

What does it feels like? How does it feels like? When does it feels like? Where does it feels like? To whom does it feels like? 

I am always telling myself, I will forever trust GOD about this thing; that someday I would be able to meet this guy (or probably met him already and some spark idk will just happen). 

But sometimes, I would think to myself, “How long do I have to wait?” 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a person who desperately seeks love and who lacks love. In fact, I feel loved, by people around me, by my family (not by my father though, loljk), by my friends. And yes, I love them too. But loving someone, of opposite sex/gender, that’s what I don’t know to feel.

Well, maybe I just forgot  how to? Maybe it was a looonng looong time since I felt that feeling. Or maybe I just didn’t even feel that at all. That genuine feeling. What does it feel? Tell me. 

I know, I know you got to love yourself first, well, after God, I mean, before you can love somebody. And yes, I have come to love myself, in spite and despite (but sometimes still don’t like a thing or two or three or four, yes I’m dysfunctional and all, I know, and that’s part of ‘loving me is hard’ thing) of everything. 

Others will tell, “It’s hard to explain”, or something like “love is unexplainable”, or “love has no reasons”. Okay, okay I get it, but how does it feel?? Again others will answer, “butterflies in your stomach”, “rambling thoughts”, “light feeling”, etc etc.

WHUUUUUUTT? HOW TO LOVE. WHAT IS LOVE. “Kilig” is different from love, that is what I’m sure of. 

Oh, when will I feel you? I know, in God’s perfect time, that what I was always telling myself, and I trust that.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I’M NUMB.

(and even the K-Idols can’t change that)

Never regret thy fall,
O Icarus of the fearless flight
For the greatest tragedy of them all
Is never to feel the burning light.
Oscar Wilde    

To the intelligent; to the beautiful; to the kindest; to the talented; to the sexy; to the creative; to the passionate; to the dreamer; to the doer; to the clever; to the imaginative; to someone who’s got ear for good music; to the dancer; to the singer; to the writer; to someone who’s into sports; to the career-woman; to someone who’s good in cooking and/or baking…

To those women who’s perfect and to those who’s not perfect but made up their minds to pursue greater things, I will never win, because I’m neither.

An authentic one…which is made out of authentic Korean cloth….and be groomed as such lady from Joseon era.  Hair all swept out of your face, beautifully braided at the back..with matching 댕기 or some simple hair ornament. With that 노리개 pendant attached to the hanbok to give a pleasant look to the entire outfit. With that traditional shoes also.

Insadong. If that would be the place to have a little photoshoot wearing such colorful and beautiful traditional clothing, I would get there. I would be there. Someday, somehow.


Finally. Made/edited my own bucket list. I need to, because I’ve sent some requests to a few bucketlist tumblr accounts, but they haven’t made one, obviously. LOL! And because this has always been (or maybe from the day I got a glimpse of it) in the list. 

"Hanbok" so close with the word "Haengbok", happiness. I hope when that day comes and I got to wear this, I am happy. Genuinely happy. 


*Disclaimer: Picture is not mine.

Bakit phase out ka na??? Bakit hindi mo ako hinintay makaipon gamit ang sweldo ko (pag nagtrabaho na ako) para mabili ka?? I don’t want anything else but you. Kahit may S3 na at Galaxy Note II at kung anu-ano pang bagong labas. HUHUHUHUHU. T____________T I cannot…

/and yes, I’m taking this problem seriously/



Really sad about it, 

A peasant citizen

Pucha, fandom, biases, ang hirap kumeep-up naman sa inyo. :(( Lalo pa’t dalawa na ang OT6 ko. :((

Kung ano na ba ang latest, pagsave ng pictures, panonood ng videos. Aiissshhhh. :((

/But I regret nothing/

Putek na yaaaan. P*taaaaaa! Hindi pa din ako makaget-over sa Corby koooo? EEHHHHHHHHHHH. HUHUHUHUHU. Dagdagan pang nawala yung paborito kong payong?? (Well, actually, naiwan ko ata. But still….)

Kasi naman. AARRGGGGHHH!!!! Eh ‘di sana lagi kong nakikita mukha ni Doojoon bilang wallpaper ko kung nasa akin pa si Corbssss?? Eh yung mga tatscrin na bago ngayon na mura eh mga medj low quality yung appearance kahit upgraded yung OS at Android sila. I still prefer my Corbs over Galaxy Young, Duo, Y, X, Z whatever. EEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH. :(( TAENGYAAAAAAAAAAANNN.

Pucha bata ba???? OO. EH KASI NAMAN EEEEEEEEEHHHH!!! Dapat ‘di ko na lang pinapahalagahan ang mga bagay-bagay… mawawala din naman sila… at ang sakit eh… :(

Sheeeet. Doojoon. Doojoon. Doojoon. Shutaibels Doojoon. Magkano naman kaya ‘tong 2013 Calendar + DVD. Heaven, this is heaven. But there are more important things than these. Plus, hindi naman tinatae lang pera. Nashoshort pa nga minsan. Pero this videooooo. WAAAAAAAAAH!! <3 I missed you a lot. SOOOOBBBBRRRAAA! T_T

Why do I always fail the people around me?

Why do I always hurt the ones who love me the most?

Why do I always say something bad when I’m upset? 

Why do I always push those people who believe in me?

:(

Haven’t done anything yet that’s school related except for sending the Thesis survey questionnaire to Mama for reproduction, but is here to post some random stuff. Wahohohoho. 

I WANT MY OWN ROOM, OKAAAAAY? Before getting married (LOOOOL). A room where I can be free and artistic and productive and yeah all that shit. A room I can managed all by myself (in cleaning, arranging things). Designed like these or similar to these. Stairs-going-somewhere or to study area, mini library, bed overlooking the sky/nature, bulletin board or area where I can post pictures or memorable things/papers, own mini cabinets and a closet, yeah those little details. Nyaoooo~ When will I have thee, own room? Or hopefully, own dream house?