I want to try everything…

…when I can’t even identify what I really want.

I hate him more than I hate myself.

A provider, maybe but never a father.

I-love-you-forever-and-ever love.

Love-and-hate love.

I-hate-you-the-most-go-away love.

And it’s magic when you got to feel all these with the same person, over and over again. 

You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, and the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, breath of the fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single second of every day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and the colours fill your mind until there is nothing left to do but explode.
Jac Vanek (via koreyan)    
Luhan && 130821 SImsimtapa
741 plays


This the game on Simsimtapa : EXO members have to plays role as a boyfriend who call their Girl friend wake up.

Luhan:YAH!!!You see what time is it now!!!GET UP QUICKLY!!

Members:….. Isn’t this the way MOM call her child get up???

Cannot not blog this. T___T Oh baby, mah main boy. You are perfect. You are my deerest. Everybody’s calling your name. You are most loved my deer, but still you remain humble. 

And it looks like you are about to cry while singing. Baby, don’t cry please. I’m cry too. :( Or maybe you’re just overwhelmed and happy. Or maybe you are attached to the song? I’m just guessing reasons, but baby, don’t cry. 


She can’t keep a secret
For more than an hour
She runs on 100 proof attitude power
And the more she ignores me
The more I adore her
What can I do?
I’d do anything for her

Cause she’s bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can’t help myself
I don’t want anyone else
She’s a mystery
She’s too much for me
But I keep comin’ back for more
She’s just the girl I’m lookin’ for

The I-love-you-forever love.

The Love-Hate kind of love.

The I-hate-you-the-most love.

*edit some parts here*

What does it feels like? How does it feels like? When does it feels like? Where does it feels like? To whom does it feels like? 

I am always telling myself, I will forever trust GOD about this thing; that someday I would be able to meet this guy (or probably met him already and some spark idk will just happen). 

But sometimes, I would think to myself, “How long do I have to wait?” 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a person who desperately seeks love and who lacks love. In fact, I feel loved, by people around me, by my family (not by my father though, loljk), by my friends. And yes, I love them too. But loving someone, of opposite sex/gender, that’s what I don’t know to feel.

Well, maybe I just forgot  how to? Maybe it was a looonng looong time since I felt that feeling. Or maybe I just didn’t even feel that at all. That genuine feeling. What does it feel? Tell me. 

I know, I know you got to love yourself first, well, after God, I mean, before you can love somebody. And yes, I have come to love myself, in spite and despite (but sometimes still don’t like a thing or two or three or four, yes I’m dysfunctional and all, I know, and that’s part of ‘loving me is hard’ thing) of everything. 

Others will tell, “It’s hard to explain”, or something like “love is unexplainable”, or “love has no reasons”. Okay, okay I get it, but how does it feel?? Again others will answer, “butterflies in your stomach”, “rambling thoughts”, “light feeling”, etc etc.

WHUUUUUUTT? HOW TO LOVE. WHAT IS LOVE. “Kilig” is different from love, that is what I’m sure of. 

Oh, when will I feel you? I know, in God’s perfect time, that what I was always telling myself, and I trust that.


(and even the K-Idols can’t change that)